Cleaning the Dirt Inside My Life

It always hits me when I'm cleaning my house. I'm reminded about how the Holy Spirit is cleaning up the house in us. I'm always made aware that it is impossible to clean up everything in one day.

A person could make themselves sick if they attempted to do all of the chores in one day. And if this was a daily standard, I can't even imagine where the energy would come from in order to be able to do that. In my early mom days, I had a lot of expectations for myself as a stay at home mom. Mostly, those expectations for cleaning my house were shaped by other people's opinions of what a "real woman" should be like in her house.

Looking back, I remember feeling like I wanted to please others and measure up, especially when we'd have visitors. Nothing drives you to clean your place more than people coming over. That's when you really notice how messy things have gotten. I remember pushing myself to the limit. I wanted everything to be spotless and perfect. I wanted to be accepted.

I think around that time is when I started to feel a bit sick. I wasn't taking breaks like I should have. When you don't take good care of your body, your body will find a way to force you to rest. Cleaning too much is not sustainable. Not cleaning at all, or enough, is also not sustainable. You can also get sick. Try not dusting for months, and see how awful your allergies become.

Somewhere in the middle is the right approach. Clean up something each day. It will make a difference and you can feel healthy and perhaps even feel cleaning is rewarding rather than a thing to despise, dread, and procrastinate doing. And somewhere in the middle is how the Holy Spirit cleans up our mess inside of us, and also, how He expects us to deal with the dirt in our life as well.

All-or-nothing mentality is really not something helpful to have in life. I might be tempted to resolve a problem in my life immediately, or to ignore it completely. Again, both are not a healthy approach. When I've attempted in the past to think about all of my problems in hopes of cleaning it up, I've just ended up overwhelmed and discouraged. When I've attempted to ignore the dirt in my life, hoping it somehow goes away on its own, it has only turned into a bigger "pile" that still needs to be cleaned up.

So as I was cleaning my table, I noticed there are areas on it that I didn't even realize there were spots that needed wiping. If you don't have the space in your mind, time and attention, it's possible to miss the dirt completely. I see those spots as being the things that we can't really understand or see that is dirty in our lives. Things we need God to somehow help us notice them and then proceed to address them.

There are things in my life that feel so normal, but normal does not necessarily mean healthy, or God's will for my life. Recently, I had been unknowingly operating under a certain assumption about God and I would base my actions on that assumption. It's easy to not see things when we isolate ourselves. But when God opens the door to people entering your life, that's really a game changer.

Imagine me cleaning my house, and hearing a knock on the door. I open the door, and God uses those people to help me see the mess I wasn't seeing before. But first, I had to be willing for them to come into my life and see there is a mess, and be open to what God has to say through them. It's amazing how they can help you understand how the Bible should or shouldn't be used in your specific situation, or how they can speak into what you have accepted as normal, but help you see what's missing, as painful as it may be to face what you've tried so hard to ignore.

Jesus said, ^"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ( Matthew 6:33-34 NIV)

The only way we'll really be able to do something about our troubles is to first realize that we are not supposed to do it alone. The Holy Spirit is leading this clean up mission. He knows the timing that is best. He knows what He wants to clean up in us, and who He wants to use to help us see it needs cleaning. Focus on following His leading today, and then do it again tomorrow. Take the clean up work one day at a time.