40 is Chasing Me Non-Stop

Have you guys seen the memes about people turning 40 years old? It's usually an average 30-something year old looking person being chased by a dorky older person symbolizing turning 40 soon.

Or have you also seen that one cute video of the (sorry) clueless reporter asking the little boy going back to school if he's going to miss his mommy, to which he responds "no", and then starts tearing up? That's kind of me. Am I going to miss my thirties? No... but yes.

Your thirties, especially the upper ones force you to focus on your health. Enjoy your 20s kids because once you hit your 30s everything changes. I'm not sure what this next decade will bring, but I am committed to making it as healthy as possible for myself. Also, as grateful as I can be given it is a huge blessing to get to be older in this life.

My thirties flew by so fast, I can't even explain to you where they went. What I do know is that I flirted with how far I could get away with neglecting myself because I was so focused on taking care of everyone else. So, I am going to miss my kids being toddlers, and my parents being younger, among other things, but I'm excited about hopefully living wiser.

Honestly, I haven't really been able to enjoy still being in my 30s, because like the meme, I keep being reminded that I'm entering a whole new decade. Some people use the time to plan a big celebration. Me? I guess I'm taking the worry count-down route. Is it because I'm a woman? Youth and beauty is such a big deal in a woman's life, and turning 30, and now 40 is forcing me to remember the Bible verse that says, "Charm is deceitful and beauty fades; but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

I went into the urgent care that one time recently I shared about a few blogs ago, and this is what happened. In my nervous state of mind, I decided to make small talk with the nurse taking down my information. I noticed he had a cross tattoo on his wrist and asked him if he was a Christian. We talked about what churches we went to. He was a new believer. Then he asked if I had a history of surgeries, and I mentioned my c-sections. He was then surprised when he looked up my age.

Should I be insulted, or flattered? Out of curiosity I asked how old he thought I was. He said 27. He said, people my age usually have "cracked skin", and I don't. I chose flattery, with a small side of insult. He asked if I had a skin routine. Nope. Do you not stress? Definitely that wasn't it. My 40s is going to force me to embrace the body I'm in. It is what it is, no matter the feedback I'll be getting moving forward.

I'm guilty of reacting this way too. I recently spoke to someone who is older than me and told her she didn't look it. I should probably stop doing that, because it kind of fails to celebrate the age someone actually is. Like if it's a bad thing. But I did notice that I feel comfort when I'm around older women (especially). My nervous system somehow thinks "safety", like if I'm going to be cared for by these older and wiser women. Since they have lived what I'm heading into, I have someone I can go to and see modeled what the other side will be like. I think this is why we learn in Titus that the older women are to teach the younger women in life.

And I'm starting to be one of those older women now (albeit I'm not on the top of the age list yet). I can already hear my mind at work when I hear teenage girls or girls in their 20s talk about their life. Their experiences are different but in some ways the same as mine were. I find myself wanting to warn them about things so that they don't have to go through lessons the hard way. This I am going to lean towards.

I've been described as "motherly" by the twenty year olds in my life. (Maybe you're reading this. You know who you are.) It honestly made me cringe the first time I heard it. I was already very self-conscious of how much older I am, while trying to fit in. But today, being "motherly" is probably one of the best achievements I could have reached as a woman. It took me over a decade to learn to be motherly. It takes effort and intentionality, and I'll take it. Ok, now I'm ready to start enjoying being 39. I still have 5 months left! Haha, anxiety.