I'm sorry

I can attempt to describe it as though there was a loud storm that passed through for a long time and suddenly there is a new found silence. The storm's wind and noise was normal, and silence was finally becoming a familiar friend again. Something I had in the past, and I'm just realizing how long I had been without it.


When we have a storm in our life, sometimes all we need are a few extra drops from someone else or something to finish filling up our cup and then burst and run over, not in a good way. I'm realizing now that life had become really challenging for me in many ways, for such a long time, that it was hard to even know that was going on.


During those challenging moments, I have said and done things that now in the silence I wonder who that person was and why did I think to do or say those things. I think I must have hurt people along the way and felt that I was the one on the receiving end of pain, but I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry when I was rude to you. I'm sorry when I was arrogant. I'm sorry when I should have spent more time thinking about the best way to go about doing something or saying something. I want to ask for you to be gracious with me as I try to be more gracious moving forward. I know I fall short and I will continue to do so, but at least God can help me learn from my poor choices, and help me mature into the character He desires for me to grow into as His follower. This life is a learning journey. He is the Teacher. I am the student that gets the answers wrong on the test, and needs to go back and learn the correct answers.


I'm so thankful for God creating a world where storms are possible and enlightening. I've learned through experience that God is by our side, and never lets go, even when we may feel no one can help us. He is enough. He will always be enough. His grace is sufficient and will always be available to us. I'm also thankful that our good Shepherd also leads us to still waters and we can enjoy calm. He restores our soul. I'm enjoying His lead each day, and trust He will continue to teach me more about Himself and more about what He wants of me.


-Susan